camino reflections

When I thought ahead I was sure I would give my all, but I was not sure if I would succeed. Reasons against success were many:-

- I might injure myself.

- it might just be too long of a walk for me to complete it without extreme fatigue, or blisters.

- just not doable with my knowledge of Spanish, the Camino, long distance hiking.

- I might just simply lose interest because its boring, uninspiring or I don't fit in.

- there'd be a drama at home calling me away.

So I was never confident. I recall the early stages when I was being super careful on lose or uneven ground, do as not to roll my ankle. I would dutifully grease my feet & tension my laces just so.I probably didn't hang out with others, to prevent myself from looking foolish or getting distracted. 

During the middle stages of the Frances my feet showed signs of good durability & my legs were working as well as ever. I entertained the possibility that I might do it. But ultimately, it was until a few days out from SDC that I allowed myself to think I had it. 

While the Porto Camino was much less of a commitment, having completed it gives me more confidence that I am capable. Apart from the respiratory infection early on the Frances, my general health was not good for much of the Porto. I suspect getting run down & wavering from a good diet caused me to suffer fatigue symptoms, cramping, lethargy, achiness & otherwise just feeling shitty. But the Dog Inside my chest never wavered from the task. Every morning, I got up, prepped & left without hesitation or complaint. The only time I did reveal my general malaise was by way of apology to pilgrims for not joining in for dinner or whatever. I'm most proud of the last week, when its possible that my body was eating into its energy stores & I sort simple remedies (gels, greens, orange juice, nuts & good rest), to push through. This, & the sheer doggedness it takes to complete a Frances in such a fast time, will stand by me in future. These are not things to boast of, merely achievements I can hold dear to help me win through in tough future times.