DIY Emotional Repair

    “Judge not, and you will not       be judged; condemn not, and       you will not be condemned;         forgive, and you will be                 forgiven".

As I woke and felt for certain stresses that will need work to resolve. This is when  a certain troubling thought occurred to me, that is; being betrayed by my wife. This event fell on me a decade ago but still, harsh judgements of her continually invade my thoughts. I have been steadfast in my unforgiveness. 
I realise I need to release these thoughts so I can be free to live happy, healthy and more peacefully. I read that anger and unforegiveness go hand in hand. 

Essentially forgiveness is a choice to discard old patterns of thought. Every time I recite Our Father, I am asking God to "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us". I understand the words, i merely need to activate my forgiving heart. 

The Buddha declares, “Enraged with hate, with mind ensnared, humans aim at their own ruin and at the ruin of others.” I might say, I don't hate, but it is the trap that is of interest.  I am locked in a negative mindset, that does nothing but harm me. There is a graphic quip, about not forgiving is like throwing poo directly in the air above your head & expecting it to harm someone else. Its an injury to yourself. 

I cannot know her mind, nor do I need to, & I would never trust her as a partner again. But my negative thoughts are essentially unknown to her, the negativity lies solely within me, an emotional cancer. 

The current reality is that I  much better off now; I can live freely without an enemy or their judgements. Personally, I have benefitted from separation. 

 I have harboured resentments about the impact of her behaviour on the children, but that's not my rodeo. All I can do is offer them support, which I do.  

So, in the end harbouring resentment serbes no earthly purpose. I hereby resolve to discard negative thoughts, as useless and destructive, & choose to forgive, to be happy. This way I can now pray earnestly. 

" Go in peace, to love & serve the Lord". Amen.

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