emotional bonding

I haven't yet been able to forward a deposit for SELKIE, bit i am going through a major emotional upheaval. 

All at once l feel bonded to this boat, as though all the previous years of sailing lesser boats have led me to this. As though l have servedy apprenticeship, to find myself on a boat whose complexity & beauty are worthy of only one that has served their time. 

At once all the reading: hiscock, Graham, pardy, stock & co. & the nameless older fellows that have laboured to create timeless timber boats. These efforts are often made without acknowledgement, the creator works to their best level, for no external reward, knowing that very few people would appreciate or understand. Its done that way because its right & its seaworthy. That on some dim corner of the ocean, during their time of need, when the sailor turns to his little boat & asks her to work to her limits, the well made boat will give generously. 

I feel this as a form of transition. As though the world has looked to me, in this moment, & asked whether l am up to it, worthy of it, willing to see it through. And l stand before this echoing voice & pledge, l will do my best, give my all, or be damned. 

Times ahead will be spent lavishing varnish, sweat & dollars, my senses will be attuned to the vessel of my affections, her smell of deep lacquered timber, her curved, impossibly beautiful curved, sheer, bilge & coach house. 

I expect she will make me weep tears of ecstasy, deep satisfaction & pleasure. 

Yet, this will not be a bond confined to the chandlery or marina. No this little ship will return home after each outing, her quality will mean she needs no stainless steel jewellery, deep mooring or specialist attention. I will be enough, lavishing her with loving care & attention. 

Never, have I been so moved by a prospect. I knew entering retirement that there would be a long journey, or journeys, & hopefully this will be the first of many together.