oh the places you will go

"the id is the primitive and instinctual part of the mind that contains sexual and aggressive drives and hidden memories, the super-ego operates as a moral conscience, and the ego is the realistic part that mediates between the desires of the id and the super-ego"

    Ref: simplypsychology.org

Freud & Jung, the fathers of psychoanalysis, are will me this morning as I try and decipher yesterday's events. How on Hell's name did I find myself below decks of a stinking great hulk of a sailboat, bewildered by 9mm plywood deck beams?

   I'm guessing my Id saw "36 feet blue water & $10k" in one ad & my mind ran with it. But once I was assaulted by the horrors below decks & made a quick exit, my Superego beat me up. As we motored among dozens of severely neglected boats on moorings, it hammered me as though every defect was my responsibility. By the time I reached the mooring, I was mentally & emotionally beaten up. Why, after all these years can I still fall for a boat tease? My naturally positive, dreamy mind romanticises everything, that's why. I won't elaborate with my daydreams over the last handful of days, except to say that each one is hanging like a rotted sail over a barbed wire fence. 

I feel battered still this morning & the image of that woefully under-engineered deck will haunt me forever. The confusion of looking aloft at a heavy section blue water cruising mast, sat on a deck that might crumble under its weight, haunts me. 

Be gone! 

Thankfully my Ego is here now soothing my aching body. "Sail Data laid out such wonderful statistics on the power & bluewater capacity of the design. You were right to be drawn in", he soothes. That's better, thanks. But it will take be some time to recover, & probably never again will I ignore the faintest whisper of a scam. One good outcome is that it has cured me of a desire to have a 36 foot boat. Its out of my mind, the forces, materials & expenses are too excessive. 

But, another realisation came to me yesterday about the Folkie. This recent motivation to consider bigger boats emerged from the realisation that me to live aboard happily I need too many books, tools & spare materials for a 26 footer, with no headroom, to handle safely. Captain Fatty Goodlander's observation that " small boats beat up older sailors" has struck a chord. Although I'm fit & flexible now, I know that this won't always be the case, especially on longer cruises. I also just simply want a comfortable boat, something I can have  things around me that I enjoy & somewhere to spread out & relax on wet days. I don't think its asking for too much. Ann Gash, who circummavigated as well as other long passages on timber Folkboats commented on the smaller cabin space of the fibreglass versions. 

So now, I need to offload .my Folkboat. This may be difficult given the present market. But the upside is that there are some bargains to be had. My choice designs remain the:-    * Walker 28: beamy, ketch rigged.  

   * Swanson 28: a chunky shape, but comodious cabin.

   * Clansman 30: a pretty thoroughbred (skinny) hull.

These range greatly in price. My priorities are:-

   - excellent condition.

   - new rigging & sails.

   - reliable engine.

   - bonus items: enav & a

   vane.