rebuilding (9/9/2018)

   Ahem!  A little throat clearing and taking of deep breath ess is in order. Exposing my inner self to the worldwide web is not something I take on lightly. And I'm sorry in advance if what you may read after this is something you've already seen, but it's mine and therefore special for me.
  I want to blog this stuff to try and make sense of it all, because I feel like my life is stuck on a continual wash and rinse cycle and I want to get back control.
  An advance caution, I am not a writer so some of this will read in a disjointed way. And apart from having a social work degree, and living the blog stuff each day, I have no special qualifications.
  So a brief duration report:
- Name: My Blogger name is Terry but my real first name is Terence.
- Age: 57 (yes really)
- Relationships: year 2 single father. Full-time care of "Girl" 16 years and "Boy" 15 years. My "wife" (in name only) of 27 years moved out early 2016.
- Lives: we live on an 80 acre bush block in the Hunter Valley, NSW, Australia.This house is a cedar cabin stuck in the middle of the block to take advantage on wonderful views.
- Work: self-employed part-time gardener/lawn mower guy. I have been fitter machinist, painter, milkman and driver and welfare and social worker over the years.
- Interests: Apart from encouraging my children towards tertiary studies in house breeding and fine arts and being the best dad I can, I enjoy gardening for food and increasingly so, for beauty, and sailing.
- Other Stuff: My son is competing his last year of homeschooling and for about five years I have cared for my 87 year old mum for two days a week.


   The present issues that I struggle with daily include:
- Low income.
- Time Poor (father, cook and cleaner, mower guy, carer).
- Separation (recovering from a narcissistic relationship, negotiating property settlement).
- Security (see above).
- Alone-ness.I have my children through the day and meet people at work, but I don't have anyone to really talk with.

   Sorry, that snapshot got quite large. But when you reach midlife you accumulate quite a lot of baggage, physical, psychological, social and emotional. That's part of being stuck in the wash cycle, you make headway in one area and another starts crying out for attention. I know too, much of this is standard fare for many midlifers, but you know it's my stuff, and I'm leaning on the blog to help me through.

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